On The Road

I am currently sitting in my hotel room in San Diego, CA. My boss requested late last week I go to Yuma, AZ. What a Christmas present! This is the first chance since Tuesday I've been able to even turn on my laptop. I flew into San Diego and drove to Yuma for a night and now I'm back in San Diego. I have to say the weather is fine, a mild 70 degrees in Yuma. The desert was beautiful and I was able to see a whole lot of it during the drive. I'm heading home tomorrow thankfully.

Christmas was nice, the kids really had a blast, but there is always a little part of me that's glad it's over. It's always so stressful and busy.

I would love to take advantage of the San Diego nightlife but I don't have it in me. I just want to get home.

People are yelling outside my hotel room. They sound drunk and I hope they aren't staying next to me. God, I'm getting old.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I hope you've all been good boys and girls and Santa brings you all you deserve.

Flying Angel by Gerrit Greve

Power

i stand over you
you're on your knees, head down in supplication
your body trembles with the need to be dominant
i watch the sweat trickle down your muscular back
this exchange of power is a heady thing
i touch your chin and lift your face to mine
i see lust and vulnerability in your eyes
i want your touch
your mouth
i lift my leg over your shoulder
without words you take
control, power, dominance

Communication

I am a firm believer in constant and open communication. Now I said, I'm a firm believer; I never said I practice constant and open communication. This is what I strive for everyday. I struggle with communicating my wants, my dreams, my goals in life. I will find my voice, I must find it or I will always be lacking.

Movement, objects, speech, and words.
We communication through gross symbols.
We call them "objective,"
But we cannot escape our point of view.
~365 Tao

Five Weird Habits...

I was tagged by The Zombie Lama....

Rules:
The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I always drink my tall nonfat latte from a straw (try it, you won't burn your tongue).

2. Every morning I hit my snooze on my alarm 3 times. No more, no less.

3. I eat burrito's with a knife and fork.

4. I watch the Food Network a lot, but hate to cook.

5. Last but not least of my weird habits is BLOGGING. Oh, yes it is a very addicting habit and I must get my fix everyday.

I tag: WDKY, Mad Munkey, Chuck, K.D. and Zoozan.

Smile In Your Sleep

I was recently reminded how much I like this artist. Here are just a few of my favorites by Jack Vettriano.

Wishing you an amazing day.

Why Bother?

I spent a good part of my day yesterday shopping. I took the kids to see Santa. This was the first year neither cried about being forced into the arms of a very scary stranger in red with an odd looking scraggly beard. Oh, and let's not forget to look at the camera and smile kids. Thankfully, they actually enjoyed themselves this year. Who knew that a visit to Santa could turn your usually loving child into a blood curdling screaming ball of terror. That, my friends, was not in the Parent 101 Handbook.

After my shopping spree, I came home and wanted nothing more than a beer, but was forced back out into the elements. I had a dentist appt. I almost canceled, but knew I was only prolonging the agony by doing so. I mustered all my will and went. Now as you may tell, I am not a fan of said dentist. In fact, I loathe the dentist. I'm not sure why, oh maybe it's because I dislike pain. Hmmmmkay. Sitting in the torture chair while someone sticks sharp objects into my gums is not my idea of a good time. Plus, I have to get the ol' are ya flossing speech every time. Sweet Christ, I'm just going to lie and the dentist knows it so why even ask??? Like I said, all part of the torture. I didn't have any cavities. Yeah, small miracles.

On a positive note, I did buy a candle. The type of candle that you can let burn all the time and won't burn down the house. I am using the candle to remind me that there are people out there who are not as fortunate as am. To be thankful for what I have and to remember those who can't be with their family during this holiday season. When I see this candle out of the corner of my eye, I'll be reminded and that gives me peace.

Optimistic

naked
fingers entwined with mine, held strong over my head
mouth on my breast
pounding heart, ragged breath
without conscious thought my body arches to yours in wanton need
i ask you, overwhelm me
fill me
pull me out of the dark
away from ambivalence
allow me a blaze of hope
a moment of escape

My Eyes Burn

I have an appointment with a family counselor tonight. Why, do you ask? I am in the middle of a divorce. My soon to be ex does not want said divorce. He was raised to believe that no matter how horrible the marriage is you stay. We have been to counseling in the past. It didn't help. He blames the counselor. He thinks this new counselor will save the marriage. This is a cycle and I know it. He was an absent husband and father. Oh, he was there physically, meaning spending hours in the garage at the computer, etc. but not in any other way. He didn't abuse me or cheat on me. In his opinion, we had no problems. He was responsible for nothing. Did I allow this and enable him to some extent. Yes, I did. Do I resent him? Yes, I do. He never listened to me when I explained I was unhappy. He just never ever thought I would leave so he never changed his behavior no matter how many times I asked. He has become a different person from the one I married. I don't see that man anymore. Because of this, I have become distant and unemotional. It didn't happen overnight it was slow and painful. He calls me remorseless and relentless.

I don't have the words to express how disappointing and sad this situation has become. I have agreed to meet with this counselor because I have to deal with my soon to be ex for a long time to come. She has agreed to help us learn to communicate through this difficult time and in the future. If it is successful, I will be more than grateful.

Got The Life

I did this silly little quiz today. Interesting... I'm so choosy that men take forever to ask me out?!? I guess it's better than Men See You as Slutty. Or is it?

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

I also took this quiz which is kind of funny since I am a product of the 80's.

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Jason Bateman

Who's" Your 80's Heartthrob?

Oh, and yes, I'm bored.

Beautiful Daze

First off let me say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"(yes, I had to say it). I had a really great trip even though it was a business trip. This is an adult playground like no other. The luxury of the new hotels vs. the tacky/cheesiness of the old makes for a fascinating city.

We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel, which is a very cool place to stay and play. Of course all of the rock memorabilia was something to see but the feel of the hotel was hip and modern and quite comfortable. This is sort of off season and it was quiet and I am not complaining. I am complaining about the fact that every casino I gambled at took all my money. Damn, I couldn't win to save my life. So much for buying a Trump Condo on the strip and living the high life.

I am tired! That's what happens when you drink too many Red Bulls and vodka, stay up late and gamble, etc. then get up at 6:30 the next morning and go to work. I'm paying the price today. Is it possible I am getting too old for the weekday partying?!? *cries*

Bottom line: I can't wait to go back.

Fix Me

Here is a beautiful painting by Lord Frederic Leighton called Flaming June. I feel peaceful whenever I look at it.

Well, I had a lovely Thanksgiving. Plenty of food, family and laughs. I must have played 100 games of either Scrabble or Boggle. Unfortunately, I began to feel sick Thursday night and have not felt well since. It's a stomach thing and I hope it will go away soon. I'm wasting my long weekend. Gah!

On Monday I leave for my business trip to Las Vegas. I'll be back on Wednesday evening so I'll share all my witty and adventurous stories about my trip then (yes, that was sarcasm).

Be Thankful

For those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving I wish you a fantastic and restful holiday.

I have many things to be thankful for this year. I've hit a few bumps in the road recently, but what doesn't kill you...

I thought I would leave you with this article I found in a local paper today. It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but I had to share. Something for you men to strive for perhaps.

Push Envy of Iron Crotch Aside as you Contemplate Phallic Feat

I'm sure he's thankful he remained in one piece....

Oh, and WDKY and Zoozan I expect a full report after you watch this on television. It's part of a documentary on Penis Envy that will be shown in the UK.

Ode to the Vag....New Profile Pic

I added a profile picture. It's a print done by Georgia O'Keeffe whose work I enjoy. This print is a perfect example of why I like her art. It looks like a vagina. Yes, I said it, "vagina," say it with me people. It's erotic and I'm drawn to it. You could put this print in your office and in fact, I actually worked with a woman who did exactly that. Yes, it was somewhat bold and it makes a statement. What that statement is may vary on the viewer. Again, it's art and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, blah, blah, blah. I found it a bit empowering because it's beautiful, full of color, depth and some folks may want to hide their children's eyes. I saw the Vagina Monologues and I'm better for it. I've even looked at my vagina in a mirror and I'm not ashamed to admit it. As women, we should find beauty, power, pleasure and release in this our most sacred place.

Now all that being said, I most likely will not keep this profile pic up for long. I get bored easy and will find something different depending on my mood. I just thought that I would comment on my choice, besides it was fun to write the word "vagina" several times this beautiful Monday morning.

Dear Anonymous

I don't know you, but I feel you
I don't know what you look like, but I recognize you
I don't know what you sound like, but I hear you
Are your words fact or fiction, it does not matter, every word is a part of you
Your kind words support and inspire me
Your negative words interest and challenge me
Freedom can be found in anonymity and I am better for it

This is dedicated to all my Blogger friends.
Thank You!

The Blush

I don't have much to say today. I'll just share a favorite painting of mine.


"The Blush" by Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale

Happy Happy

I had lunch with a very dear friend yesterday. We have been friends for 15 years. She is either fortunate or unfortunate to know all of my secrets. I love her dearly. We were discussing the latest chapter in this thing I call my life and she made a very simple statement that rocked me. Her words were this, "You are an exceptional person and you deserve to be happy." Tears sprung to my eyes. I looked at her and blinked and looked and blinked. God, she was right, maybe not about the exceptional part, that's up for debate, but the happy part. Truth be told I have not been happy for a long time.

My ex managed to manipulate me for years. To this day he still tries and the sad part is sometimes I let him. You get used to being told how to feel. At least I did. Well, I'm done. My friend reminded me that I have control of my happiness and even when I feel like everything is going to hell only I can control my reaction or actions.

I don't expect this will be easy but I look forward to the results.

Truth?

Someone sent me this and I realized it quite suits me.

Scorpio women: Inquisitive, searching, and experimental. Knows that eroticism consists of more than the physical act of lovemaking. While looking like a perfect lady in public, you dress and behave like a whore in the bedroom. Control of the orgasm is very important and will try anything to help your man maintain his potency. You never take no for an answer and when interested in someone, you will pursue him with determination and guile. Props you love: scented body oils, flavored lubricating gels, and vibrators.

Garbage In Garbage Out

I had to work on Saturday, which was not really a problem, but I had a hell of time getting out of bed this morning. I'm lucky, it is a beautiful sunny day. A mild 70 degrees. Might get up to 80 tomorrow. How nice.

My boss requested I attend a project meeting with her in Las Vegas. I played it down, but I' m thrilled especially since she could have sent me to Bumfcuk, Nowhere. I love Vegas. I love the gambling, food and overall potential for debauchery. It's a business trip so I'll behave and I will cut back on all of the above, but I will still manage to have a great time. I'm the type who can do anything alone. I don't need a group of friends with me to enjoy myself. If you can't tell, I don't get out much...

I'm halfway through an excellent book, A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey. This is one hell of a book. Read it. I stayed up way too late reading it last night and will probably do the same again tonight. Yes, I know it's an Oprah's Book Club read, but don't let that stop you.

Have a beautiful day.

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau

Breathe Me

Touch me
I feel your heat against my skin
I want
I wait
I ache
I beg
Unnerving silence
I smile
My favorite game