I had lunch with a very dear friend yesterday. We have been friends for 15 years. She is either fortunate or unfortunate to know all of my secrets. I love her dearly. We were discussing the latest chapter in this thing I call my life and she made a very simple statement that rocked me. Her words were this, "You are an exceptional person and you deserve to be happy." Tears sprung to my eyes. I looked at her and blinked and looked and blinked. God, she was right, maybe not about the exceptional part, that's up for debate, but the happy part. Truth be told I have not been happy for a long time.
My ex managed to manipulate me for years. To this day he still tries and the sad part is sometimes I let him. You get used to being told how to feel. At least I did. Well, I'm done. My friend reminded me that I have control of my happiness and even when I feel like everything is going to hell only I can control my reaction or actions.
I don't expect this will be easy but I look forward to the results.
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7 comments:
Keep that attitude with you always, Annalis. And yes - you deserve happiness in your life but it is up to you to make it so.
So true, K.D. - Thank you.
Thank you, Zombie. I appreciate your kind words.
sometimes we let people manipulate us and dictate how we feel because it's easier than soul searching and figuring it out for ourselves. Everyong deserves to be happy but more importantly is discovering what it is that makes you happy. I remember this verbally abusive relationship I was in and the guy always told me how little I mattered. I also know that the reason people feel the need to manipulate and control those around them is because they are actually insecure and they feel that if they don't make people feel the way they want them too, they'll matter less. Kind of ironic that when we stop letting them control us, they end up not mattering at all.
Great post.
Networkchic - Well said. Thank you for your comment. It's humiliating to acknowledge that this has been happening to me for so long but amazingly empowering to be able to admit it and move forward.
Go for it. Believing in yourself and letting that belief be reflected in your actions is difficult at first. But so worth it
Thank you, Zoozan. Yes, it is going to be difficult, and you're right it will be worth it.
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