Saturday, November 26, 2005

Fix Me


Here is a beautiful painting by Lord Frederic Leighton called Flaming June. I feel peaceful whenever I look at it.

Well, I had a lovely Thanksgiving. Plenty of food, family and laughs. I must have played 100 games of either Scrabble or Boggle. Unfortunately, I began to feel sick Thursday night and have not felt well since. It's a stomach thing and I hope it will go away soon. I'm wasting my long weekend. Gah!

On Monday I leave for my business trip to Las Vegas. I'll be back on Wednesday evening so I'll share all my witty and adventurous stories about my trip then (yes, that was sarcasm).

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Be Thankful

For those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving I wish you a fantastic and restful holiday.

I have many things to be thankful for this year. I've hit a few bumps in the road recently, but what doesn't kill you...

I thought I would leave you with this article I found in a local paper today. It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but I had to share. Something for you men to strive for perhaps.

Push Envy of Iron Crotch Aside as you Contemplate Phallic Feat

I'm sure he's thankful he remained in one piece....

Oh, and WDKY and Zoozan I expect a full report after you watch this on television. It's part of a documentary on Penis Envy that will be shown in the UK.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Ode to the Vag....New Profile Pic

I added a profile picture. It's a print done by Georgia O'Keeffe whose work I enjoy. This print is a perfect example of why I like her art. It looks like a vagina. Yes, I said it, "vagina," say it with me people. It's erotic and I'm drawn to it. You could put this print in your office and in fact, I actually worked with a woman who did exactly that. Yes, it was somewhat bold and it makes a statement. What that statement is may vary on the viewer. Again, it's art and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, blah, blah, blah. I found it a bit empowering because it's beautiful, full of color, depth and some folks may want to hide their children's eyes. I saw the Vagina Monologues and I'm better for it. I've even looked at my vagina in a mirror and I'm not ashamed to admit it. As women, we should find beauty, power, pleasure and release in this our most sacred place.

Now all that being said, I most likely will not keep this profile pic up for long. I get bored easy and will find something different depending on my mood. I just thought that I would comment on my choice, besides it was fun to write the word "vagina" several times this beautiful Monday morning.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Dear Anonymous

I don't know you, but I feel you
I don't know what you look like, but I recognize you
I don't know what you sound like, but I hear you
Are your words fact or fiction, it does not matter, every word is a part of you
Your kind words support and inspire me
Your negative words interest and challenge me
Freedom can be found in anonymity and I am better for it

This is dedicated to all my Blogger friends.
Thank You!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Blush


I don't have much to say today. I'll just share a favorite painting of mine.


"The Blush" by Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Happy Happy

I had lunch with a very dear friend yesterday. We have been friends for 15 years. She is either fortunate or unfortunate to know all of my secrets. I love her dearly. We were discussing the latest chapter in this thing I call my life and she made a very simple statement that rocked me. Her words were this, "You are an exceptional person and you deserve to be happy." Tears sprung to my eyes. I looked at her and blinked and looked and blinked. God, she was right, maybe not about the exceptional part, that's up for debate, but the happy part. Truth be told I have not been happy for a long time.

My ex managed to manipulate me for years. To this day he still tries and the sad part is sometimes I let him. You get used to being told how to feel. At least I did. Well, I'm done. My friend reminded me that I have control of my happiness and even when I feel like everything is going to hell only I can control my reaction or actions.

I don't expect this will be easy but I look forward to the results.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Truth?

Someone sent me this and I realized it quite suits me.

Scorpio women: Inquisitive, searching, and experimental. Knows that eroticism consists of more than the physical act of lovemaking. While looking like a perfect lady in public, you dress and behave like a whore in the bedroom. Control of the orgasm is very important and will try anything to help your man maintain his potency. You never take no for an answer and when interested in someone, you will pursue him with determination and guile. Props you love: scented body oils, flavored lubricating gels, and vibrators.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Garbage In Garbage Out

I had to work on Saturday, which was not really a problem, but I had a hell of time getting out of bed this morning. I'm lucky, it is a beautiful sunny day. A mild 70 degrees. Might get up to 80 tomorrow. How nice.

My boss requested I attend a project meeting with her in Las Vegas. I played it down, but I' m thrilled especially since she could have sent me to Bumfcuk, Nowhere. I love Vegas. I love the gambling, food and overall potential for debauchery. It's a business trip so I'll behave and I will cut back on all of the above, but I will still manage to have a great time. I'm the type who can do anything alone. I don't need a group of friends with me to enjoy myself. If you can't tell, I don't get out much...

I'm halfway through an excellent book, A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey. This is one hell of a book. Read it. I stayed up way too late reading it last night and will probably do the same again tonight. Yes, I know it's an Oprah's Book Club read, but don't let that stop you.

Have a beautiful day.

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Breathe Me

Touch me
I feel your heat against my skin
I want
I wait
I ache
I beg
Unnerving silence
I smile
My favorite game

Friday, November 11, 2005

Soul Meets Body

I am at a crossroads. I want to make a change for the better. Now, part of me thinks the old me wasn't so bad. Another part of me is screaming to get out. How do I combine to two and become, I don't know, more? I love change. I really do. I have friends, family and coworkers who despise change. It's a dirty word to some folks. Not to me. Change can be difficult, but so exciting. Maybe I'm a change junkie. I admit I get bored pretty easily especially at work, which has only helped me strive to be the best and move on up or out.

So, in my effort to meet some new folks I get online (yes, online dating is scary on so many levels) and reply to a few ads. Well, you would be surprised how many people just don't respond. Now, I didn't send any pics thankfully or I might have cried. If I ever do send pics I hope they just lie to me if they don't find me attractive. Tell me they got back together with their ex or something. Yes, I'm that pathetic. One guy responded and do you know what his email address was?? Illeaturpuss. Yes, you read that correctly! WTF? How in the hell am I supposed to respond to this? Not that I don't appreciate the pussy eating. I love love love the pussy eating, but is this how I want to go about getting it? Now, I can appreciate the anonymous email address, I could be a psycho too. I could be a big bear of a guy here effing with some straight men just to ruin their day.

Maybe you could call it desperation, but I responded to illeaturpuss and he seemed rather "normal". We exchanged a couple of nice emails he even sent me an erotic email, which was well written, but call me crazy the email address was the deal breaker. I couldn't get past it. Knowing my luck he was the love of my life...

Happy Veterans Day.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hell Yes



I've got nothing today...except this yummy picture.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Simple ?

I have a simple question. It's not PG so if you are easily offended please move on.

Now that I have your attention here is my little question? Shave or not to shave? And when I mean shave I'm talking about completely shave it, bare. No landing strip or little triangle. Is a bare pussy attractive to most men? I have always kept the area well groomed, but lately I get the impression bare may be more of a turn on. Or does it really matter? I've been out of the dating scene for a while now and just thought I'd check in to see if going bare is worth the trouble. I don't want to creep anyone out or look like a 12 year old girl.

Personally, I like clean shaven balls, but it's not a deal breaker. I'll admit they tend to get more oral attention. Just wondering if the opposite is true.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

50 Things About Me

Dear Readers (all three of you) I hope you enjoy the below list. I apologize in advance if your eyes begin to bleed from boredom. Just move on the the next blog quickly.

1. I was born in 1969.
2. I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah
3. I was baptized into the LDS/Mormon Church.
4. I’m not religious. My mom was Mormon and felt we had to be baptized even if we never practiced. I never understood or agreed with this decision.
5. I lived in five different states before I turned seven. Utah, Colorado, Idaho, Kentucky, California. I only remember 2.
6. I disliked school. My second grade teacher was named Ms. Graves and it fit. She scared the shit out of me.
7. I do regret not taking school more seriously. It was easy and I breezed through it.
8. I was eight when I had my first kiss. Boys chased me endlessly and I hated it.
9. My fourth grade teacher played the guitar and sang Jim Croce songs to us everyday and I still remember all the words to the songs.
10. I was painfully shy.
11. I had my first boyfriend when I was in sixth grade. We hardly ever spoke to each other. It lasted a couple of weeks. I met him again when I was in my 20’s and gave him my number. He never called.
12. I shoplifted make-up once and my mom caught me. I never did it again.
13. The first time I drank alcohol I was 15 and it was gin. Still hate gin.
14. Lost my virginity when I was 16. We were in the living room and my parents were home. I did not enjoy it.
15. Used to sneak my boyfriend into my bedroom through the window at night. He would stay all night and my parents never caught us.
16. When I decided to go on the pill my mom refused to go with me to the doctor. I went alone to Planned Parenthood. She told me later she regretted this decision and apologized for not supporting me.
17. I never had an abortion, but I had 5 friends who did all under the age of 18.
18. I went to the Prince, Purple Rain, concert twice and wore the purple scarf I bought at the concert for 2 weeks to school.
19. My friends and I would play hooky from school and drink our parents alcohol. Once we put it in baby bottles to sneak it out of the house. This was wrong on so many levels.
20. I got my first job at the age of 15 at a party supply store. This was a little slice of hell.
21. My first car was a 77 Toyota Corolla. Metallic brown with funky tints. It cost $1600 and my dad bought it although I had to pay him back.
22. I have been in 5 car accidents. Only one was my fault and luckily, I was never hurt.
23. Damn, this list is boring.
24. My boyfriend in high school cheated on me repeatedly including a couple of my friends and I stayed with him for 5 years.
25. This same boyfriend slashed all my tires and keyed “Bit” into my car. He was caught so he couldn't complete “Bitch”. We called this car the “Bit” car forever.
26. This same boyfriend called me two years later and I met him for a drink. We slept together. He had a girlfriend he was living with at the time. I knew this, but slept with him anyway. Very trashy of me and I regret this. I was also reminded that he was never good in bed.
27. My first truly satisfying (I had many average experiences) sexual experience with a man was when I was 25. The sex was great to bad he turned out to be crazy.
28. I was married at age 27.
29. A mother at the age of 30.
30. I have two beautiful children.
31. I went back to work after the kids were born.
32. I am not the stay at home type. I would go insane slowly.
33. I never cheated on my ex.
34. I enjoy watching porn, reading erotica, being tied up, blindfolded and dominated in the bedroom. My ex never could satisfy this need.
35. The older I get the more I enjoy sex.
36. Still believe I will meet someone who can be a best friend, soul mate, vanilla on the outside and kinky behind closed doors.
37. I like my job and my boss.
38. I once quit a job by telling my manager I had a death in my family and would not be able to return. I know bad karma.
39. I am currently addicted to blogging. Why do I like to read about other people’s lives or opinions? It boggles the mind. I'm disappointed when no one comments on a post I write. Yes, I’m pathetic.
40. I love playing Boggle.
41. I love to gamble. No slot machines, just tables.
42. I live three hours away from Nevada. Unless it’s snowing and then it can take 7 hours to get there, but I’ve done it.
43. Lake Tahoe is one of my favorite places.
44. I want to live in San Francisco, I just can’t afford it.
45. I don’t like to cook.
46. I don’t do drugs, but I like to drink.
47. I love to dance. The sweaty, crowed, with a DJ in a Club kind of dancing.
48. I love to read and will read just about anything. I would rather read than watch TV.
49. I will never tell my family I have a blog.
50. Annalis is not my real name, but all of the above is true.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Release

blind
bound
push
pull
bend
take
beautiful
release
release
release

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Fruit Loops

After yesterday's post, and I apologize for the horrific rant, I have decided to look at the positive side of life. I refuse to lay down and wallow in my own self pity. So, that being said, I'm going to do a few things that makes me feel better -

Take my kids to one of their favorite places: The Zoo. I also happen to like the zoo, but seeing it through their eyes is truly cathartic. It's pure joy. Spending time with them reminds me of all the good things I have in my life.

Spend time with my friends. You know the The Best Friends. The ones that support you no matter what horrific things you do or say. I love them!

Go shopping. Buying a couple of really nice girlie things will make me very happy. I'll also hit the bookstore, which is one of my favorite hobbies. I could live in a bookstore.

I'd also list sex here but that won't be happening for a while. That might just complicate things but damn I miss it.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Warning: Rant Ahead

I feel like shit on a stick today. My soon to be ex just informed me that I am ruining his life, my children's lives and I'm completely selfish.

Fuck me running.

He's wrong, but it still hurts. He railed and cried at me for an hour about how just because he was a piece of shit husband and father for 10 years he shouldn't have to pay penance for the rest of his life. The rest of his life, please.

Bastard.

He's making me the bad guy for having the stones to leave.

Fuck him.

He was absent completely absent. Technically, I've been a single parent for years.

This. Is. Bullshit.

He wants to try again. "I will be the best husband and father in the world". "Give me another chance". Been there done that Fucker. Oh yeah, I'm pissed and so so sad.

My kids will be OK!?!

If I stay married to him I'll slowly go insane. I'm already half way to Looneyville and Psycho's R' Us is right around the damn corner.

Well, now that I have purged, regurgitated, hurled and fought the desire to get in my car and pull a Thelma & Louise I'll go listen to some angry angry music. Any suggestions?

Have a fucking fantastic day.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

What Next?

Debate rages on use of cervical cancer vaccine while almost 100% effective, some contend use condones teen sex.

The conservative stance on this potential life saving vaccine disturbs me greatly. I have to wonder what other vaccines or a possible cure (HIV comes to mind) are being shelved due to politics.