Cold Medicine Rocks

I'm sick. I'm home from work and sitting here congested and slightly feverish. I've got a cup of green tea next to my left hand getting cold as I type this post. I think the cold medicine may be effecting my thought process. Clearly, I have nothing interesting to say. Happy Monday.

Little Silver Drain

Water running down my back through my fingers. The water is hot and it burns, burns, burns. It washes all my fear away. Down through the little silver drain on the floor. I watch as it flows. I move my fingers to my mouth and rub them over my lips wetting them with the heated water. I forget myself. I run my fingers over my breasts lightly tracing each tip. The water still pours over my body turning my skin pink. My fingers trail to my mound and my fingers move slowly into the wet that is different from the water pounding around me. The sensation fires through each limb as I watch the water flow down though the little silver drain on the floor.





Thanks to ArtfulDodger for putting me in the mood for a nice hot shower.

beach

I had an amazing day yesterday. The sun was shining and it was nice enough to spend some time at the beach. This particular beach has a fantastic view of the San Francisco skyline along with the bay bridge. It was soul soothing. The kids were in heaven getting out of the house and running around to their hearts content.

After my little pity party on Friday, which you can tell from my last post, I needed this day at the beach. I feel balanced. Funny how life has a way of doing this when you least expect it.

I'm pretty sure I'm damaged. Not a whole lot damaged just a little bit damaged. Just enough to make sure that I won't allow myself to ever really be happy.

A Lengthy Encounter

This is a story of Big Boy. BB had the largest cock I have ever come upon and this is the story of our encounter.

BB and I were introduced by friends at a club we all frequented. The club was small the music great and the bartenders were lovely to look at. BB was tall and lean. Interesting the things, I remember. Now, we were drinking a lot. I can’t recall what we were drinking but it was flowing pretty steady. We danced. I love to dance, we were sweaty, and it was so hot.

We went back to his place with another couple. We kissed the entire way. Our lips were swollen and red by the time we got there and his stubble had reddened my chin and cheeks and started to sting.

Once there we all had another drink and each had a hit or two of pot. The other couple left us alone and went to another room. We continued to kiss and he stopped to undress. He undressed himself while I watched. Once undressed he looked me in the eye and said, ”Do you like what you see.” At the time, I was sooo inexperienced. Of course, I said, “yes.” I would have said the same thing if the guy was small, but he was not small. He was very long and very thick.

I was incredibly turned on but unfortunately, BB was much more into quantity than quality. He got right to business. Men who are that well endowed have a responsibility to make sure their partners are ready. I was not ready. I did not have nearly enough foreplay for such a big cock. We managed, but not for long. I made him stop. It was too painful so I finished him off with my mouth. He came, I didn’t. This was before I realized I had to take measures into my own hands with some partners or at least carry lubricant. He thanked me and we cuddled a bit. A little later, I got up and went home.

He never called me and I never called him, but I did run into him a week or two later. He asked if he could come home with me. I said, “no.” Not sure if I regret that decision or not.

This was a true story if it wasn't it would have had a much more explosive and satisfying ending. I’m not sure why I decided to write about it. Wait, yes I do...

White Walls

White Walls
No noise
Pulse pounding
I chose you
Such craving
Stand above me
On my knees
Guide me
Hands in my hair
Red lips on silken steel
Full to bursting
Exquisite



*artwork-Patience Lost by Chekirov

Absolutely Nothing

I've got nothing to say. I have no words. No thoughts to put to paper. I want to have something, but alas, nothing. Maybe something will come tomorrow. A sexy poem or my so called life. Until then.

Randomness

Hmmmmm…I really have nothing too entertaining to say today, just randomness.

It’s Friday and that’s always nice. The weather is sort of dreary and cold.

Purchased some music on iTunes this week.

The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth
James Blunt - Back to Bedlam

All excellent CDs. I love iTunes and I love my iPod. Just freakin love it.

I have plans to see Lestat in San Francisco this weekend. It’s from the mind of Anne Rice and the music Elton John and Bernie Taupin. So, I ask you, how bad can it be? Regardless, I get out of the house with friends and a bit of escape.

Guess what else I did yesterday…I shaved. Yes, I shaved it all off. I am hair free. Baby smooth. The air flows freely over my sex. In the shower, the water tickles and caresses as it flows over my lips with nothing to dull the sensation. Damn, I’m turning myself on. It feels amazing. I think I’ve said in previous posts that I usually keep the area trimmed, but this is different. I think I need to take a lovahhh.


*artwork Red Canna by Georgia O'Keeffe

Don't believe everything you think.

ache

fingers
dipping
deep
pressing
tasting
heat
wet
licking
tight
vibrating
pierced
cry
pleasure and pain





*Artwork - The Kiss by Rabi Khan

My weekend was a whirlwind. Spent Saturday evening in the emergency room. Anyone with children can relate to this experience. Luckily, everything turned out fine. Oh, except for me, the mother, who was so stressed out after the event I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and whimper for a couple of hours.

On Sunday, I spent a couple of hours with my soon to be ex's family. Haven't been able to cut that tie and I'm not sure I want to. It isn't exactly relaxing spending time with them. They all know what's going on, but we all pretend everything is normal. Stressful that.

Oh, and it's Monday and I wanted a couple of days off to make up for my less than stellar weekend. Didn't get it. So, here I am whining to you. Forgive me.

Meet Me

Meet me. Now. Meet me at the beach, yes, you know the spot. The spot under the pier. Where it’s private and no one can find us. I’m wearing the little black dress, no shoes, toes painted red. Yes, I know you love it. I’ll wear nothing underneath. Please hurry. I’m empty. Bring nothing. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Leave your tie in the car. Leave your duties behind. Just simple pleasure. What? No, don’t worry. I'm already waiting. Leave the office now. Right now. Come. To our spot. Fill me up. Take what you need. Now. Now. Now.

The Shape of Things to Come

kind
passionate
open-minded
willingness to help others
conscious role model
sense of humor
social
spiritual
loving
mellow
career oriented
peaceful
knows what he wants
decisive
expressive

What is the list you ask?
Why, it’s my perfect partner list. I could have kept going and going, but I stopped. I realize some are duplicates and some contradict. We are all complicated souls...

Why, did I write it?
My therapist recommended I write it down. I wrote this in my blog because this is my journal, my very public journal.

Did it help?
Nope, all it did was make me sad. I acknowledge that this list is ever evolving and would have been different a year ago and will most likely be different a year from now, but today it fits. It just fits.

Push

brush of lips
heat
travels down my spine
kissing me
slow, slow, slow
hard
please, harder
lost to you
wordless scream
silent cry
too much

I have been so busy I can't see straight. What a trip. I know I've said this before, but going to Las Vegas for business is really tough. Working all day and pretending you are on vacation at night just sucks the life out of ya. I did see a couple of cool things this time around. I stayed "Downtown" this time and witnessed CSI taping an episode right in front of the Golden Nugget. They had a dead body on the ground and an actor with it but I don't know who it was, not one of the regulars.

I also watched, although not in person, the implosion of the old Castway Hotel. It was done early Wednesday morning and I caught it on the news, I could hear and feel the vibration as it happened.

I have to say that I have yet to win any money in Las Vegas, not only do I not win but I can't even break even. Oh well, I had a blast. I've also noticed that the dealers aren't as friendly as they are in Tahoe or Reno. They all looked bored and half pissed off.

I do love Las Vegas it just has that seedy edge and potential for debauchery that appeals.

Well, I'm off on another business trip this week. I'm heading back to Las Vegas for three nights. I won't be checking in until I get back. I just wanted to wish everyone a great week.

Peace.

Me

I've wanted to do this for a while, just haven't found the time. They are not half nekkid even though it's Thursday. I was just in a mood to share. They are self portraits, thus the raised arms. I never realized how hard it is to take self portraits , but it was kind of fun.

The last picture is for the ass men who read my blog. You know who you are...

One Who Sees

I watch you
You are alone
You are beautiful
Such beauty even from a distance
Your strength, your poise, your presence
I see this all from afar

As you undress I fantasize it’s for me and me alone
Our little game
My hand slowly moves to my breast

Your hand is now on your cock
It moves slowly at first, root to tip
Up and down, up and down
Your eyes are closed

My hand is moving through my folds
I’m slick from watching you
The end is near
I must catch up
I’m there
I’m there

You turn your back
You walk away

Love's Secret

Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love,
I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.

Poem and artwork by William Blake

2006

I hope everyone had a wonderful new year's eve. I hope you all toasted the new year in right with friends, family and loved ones.

My celebration was bittersweet. I look forward to moving forward with my life in 2006, but I realize getting there will be very difficult. It didn't help that I spent part of it with my soon to be ex. Every year we spend it with friends and in our effort to make everything "normal" for the kids this holiday season there I was, uncomfortable and wishing to be anywhere else. Pretending everything is fine in front several people who know you well enough to know it's bullshit is really difficult.

I plan on starting this year positive with hope and grace. Remind me of this after my next rant....

Cheers!