I started this blog to help me sort out my thoughts, feelings, and overall bitchiness. I needed an outlet and what a cool thing to have, this online journal. A place I can pour out my guts, so to speak, in an anonymous fashion. When I began, I really didn’t know what would come of it. I didn’t even think it would last. I tend to start things with gusto only to get bored quite quickly.
An amazing thing started to occur. I had other people reading this blog o’mine. Hmmmm…do they actually like what they read. Could they possibly have something in common with little ole me? How fascinating. How refreshing. How thought provoking. Nevertheless, did I want to write for them or me? An audience is an amazing concept and for me can ruin some of my so-called creativity. Will they read this and think I’m one crazy mofo? Why do I care? This is my blog and if you don’t like it you can leave. But…I do care.
See, I have this sickness. It's called "I really want people to like me." When people don’t like me I’m bothered. Now I am far from perfect and not everyone is going to find me irresistible. However much I want them to. Jeez, see it’s a sickness and I don’t admit it very often. In fact, if you met me you would never know I had this problem. I can be one cold bitch just ask my soon to be ex.
The sickest part is that I don’t always speak my mind because I’m so damned worried that someone won’t like me. Yes, this stems from some sort of insecurity. I’m sure I could go “talk” to a professional but I’ve given up on “talking” to anyone about my problems that I have to pay. It’s left a bad taste in my mouth.
I would like to thank my fellow bloggers especially the ones that keep coming back to read whatever it is I have to say. And if you decide that you don't like me anymore please keep it to yourself...
**This topic was stolen from a very recent post I read from a very special blogger friend. Thank you!
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7 comments:
When we Blog, we put ourselves 'out there' for the world to see, read, digest, reflect, accept, reject, scorn, praise.
In the immortal words of Faith No More: 'We care a lot.'
The best advice I can give you, and not just about blogging but in general, is to always be yourself. Those that like you will be great friends and those that don't wouldn't have been anyway. Great friends might not number as much as the other kind, but great friends are... great. They support you, understand you and help you get through the worst of life. And sometimes a great friend can become a great lover and that is even better. So be true to yourself and find that person, a blog is a great place to express yourself without fear of judgement or other negatives. I know it has helped me to express myself and to find the passion that had for so long been smothered by my life. :)
Oh, and btw, I like you!! So that has to count for something I hope.
Don't worry, we all have the same insecurities, just to a varying degree, Anna. (I've liked you for a long time, but if my feelings change I'll be sure to let you know. Don't hold your breath, though.)
Kent - Thank you and you are right. By writing this blog I should accept what comes.
Art - I like you too! I always try to be myself. Sometimes I just get caught up in "what I should be versus what I want to be."
WDKY - Hi friend. Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with insecurities...for some reason I just have to write about them...alot.
Mystify - awwwwww *grins* Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. You have calmed the sickness. ;)
Annalis, you actually cheer me up. Oh, I like you and I'm not keeping it to myself either.
AI - I like you to! :)
PM - Welcome. I'm glad you're here.
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