kind
passionate
open-minded
willingness to help others
conscious role model
sense of humor
social
spiritual
loving
mellow
career oriented
peaceful
knows what he wants
decisive
expressive
What is the list you ask?
Why, it’s my perfect partner list. I could have kept going and going, but I stopped. I realize some are duplicates and some contradict. We are all complicated souls...
Why, did I write it?
My therapist recommended I write it down. I wrote this in my blog because this is my journal, my very public journal.
Did it help?
Nope, all it did was make me sad. I acknowledge that this list is ever evolving and would have been different a year ago and will most likely be different a year from now, but today it fits. It just fits.
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15 comments:
Why is it that so many women make a "nice" list like this and then run away with the "bad" guy?
I really like that you achnowledge it's fluidity, Anna. But - in a strange sense - your sadness made me sad too. It's no bad thing to understand the kind of person you see yourself being in a sustainable relationship with, and your criteria say a lot about you as a person... let me know if you ever think of moving!
Chuck - Well, I have no interest in a bad boy, been there and done that. Oh, except in the bedroom...I like a bad boy in the bedroom. ;)
WDKY - Once again you make me smile. You say the nicest things when I'm feeling sad and pathetic. Thank you.
I had a list. By the end of 2003, it had been reduced to "pees standing up" and "lives in North America".
Then two weeks later, my parole officer introduced me to his Meth dealer and the rest, they say, is history.
All right, that's not at all how I met the boyfriend. But when I met him, I knew that I was done for a while. Not sure I believe in the concept of 'soul mates' but, for right now, we are supposed to be together and are supposed to learn from eachother.
After a long, sad, dry-spell it feels good.
Don't worry . . . he's out there for you too.
Chuck - No need to be sorry. Your comments are always honest and appreciated.
MSP - Too funny and I'm jealous. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are right...
That was interesting, Chuck - that you see me as lonely, or unable to sustain meaningful relationships. Neither happen to be true.
This as, I think, the third time you've singled me out for specific comment, and I'm inclined to ask "what gives"? That was a rhetorical question too, incidentally, but at the same time I'd appreciate it if you would stop.
WDKY - Oooh confrontation in my comments section. Juicy! See I'm still sad and pathetic... :)
What are we going to do with you, Anna?
I apologized to wdky for the misunderstanding. It can be understood negatively. I don't mind a confrontation if it's true. But as I typed it, it was more of a mathmatical equation...omitting the sensitivity variable.
I don't recall any other references to singling wdky out so I can't really speak to those.
Anna!?!?...not sure what's feeding the sad & pathetic lie, but stop buying it.
I'm glad to hear you're that way. I can tell you're a woman of depth. Most women I talk to 'say' they're after a 'good' guy and then go and 'do' the otherwise. (I work with a large office of mostly women). I can understand their desire albiet misplaced. Many 'good' guys are lifeless. They may SO many good qualities but have no heart for adventure & life. I talk to a lot of single guys who fit this mold. Many are not what's called, "bar rejects."
Then you have the 'bad' boy who exhibits little to no character but knows how to live, albiet unresponsibly. This one is like a sparkler. Lots of light and flash at the beginning and then nothing. Nada. Like a ride at the fair. No depth, leaves you empty but lots of fun at the beginning.
(reposted)
The ironic thing is, Chuck, that I'm not generally regarded by those that know me as even vaguely resembling the "nice guy" you were referring to. If anything, the contrary is probably true, I regret to say.
I wholeheartedly endorse your admonition of Anna though. Tsk.
Again, the reference was poorly written. One thought that bled into the next. Wouldn't want to confuse you with those nice guys!
WDKY & Chuck - Ok,Ok...
Thanks for working things out like "nice guys". ;)
Love ya!
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