Touch

I can hear the rain hitting the window. It’s loud and causes strange shapes to play on the wall. The room is humid and I feel the sweat drip between my breasts. You lay next to me, quiet. I smile at your profile and wonder what thoughts are running through your mind.

Fingers brushing mine with a light touch, they move slowly toward the source of my desire. The rain is no longer loud and the shadows on the wall are no longer a distraction. Your tongue laps gently at my skin. I lean into your touch, eager for more.

We move together. I taste your mouth and skin. The flavor that is only you overpowers my senses. We strive toward release. A build up that ends in a loud rush of sensation and noise. Hearts pounding as we lay still and touch.

Conundrum

When I first realized that I was ‘going through a divorce’ the reality of it hit me hard. I felt like hunkering down and licking my wounds. I did an amazing amount of self-reflection and had sort of a pity party, myself being the only invitee. Now, I feel like having one big house party. It’s far from over, but it’s on the horizon. I find I’m feeling a bit guilty about it. The guilt comes from knowing my children will be changed by this and not being able to predict how and in what ways.

I still go through little bouts of ugly. Especially after long and painful conversations with the ex. I believe I’ve said this before, but how the hell did I end up with him. I was just reading a similar sentiment in WDKY’s blog and couldn’t agree more. What does this say about my judgment and more importantly will I make the same mistake again? I became blind and an enabler (according to our therapist). I wanted to pretend everything was fine so instead of voicing my concerns I pretended they didn’t exist. When they became too bad to deal with any longer my ex simply didn’t believe I would ever do anything about it. He was wrong. It’s been a long road.

I am fortunate to have many fellow bloggers out there that have gone through similar experiences. And as the old saying goes misery loves company…but I must say the best part of reading other folks experiences is that a lot have come through better for it or at least having learned how to move forward and be strong. Thank you!

Sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same…

I’m in currently in the process of finding a new place to live. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time. I lived alone prior to my marriage and I quite enjoyed it. Now, I won’t be alone. I’ll have the kids most of the time…but still this is something that I find amazingly freeing. My own place with no ties to the ex. They say it’s the little things and ‘they’ are right. Can’t wait to decorate and place all my stuff wherever I damn well please. It will be a rental so I can only go so crazy but I’ll get my own place soon enough and I am thrilled.

Huh, the end of my marriage and I’m excited about decorating…yes, maybe I need some help. Help, decorating that is…can someone say cynical. Yeah, I may have an inner slut but I also have an inner bitch and they get along quite well. I heart me. Feel the love.

Rhythmic movements
Low whispers
Slick with sweat
Insistent hands
Grasping fingers
Shallow breath
Frantic now
Focus lost
Pinpoint awareness
Rush of sensation
Scream of release
Soft kisses

Happy Humpy Day

What a nice soapy wet armpit...